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By now, you’ve probably seen the Shaq-Dissing-Kobe video, courtesy of TMZ. In it, O’Neal revitalizes a feud by issuing a lyrical assault towards the league MVP. Included in Shaq’s lyrical virtuoso are gems like, “tell me how my ass tastes” and “I’m a horse. Kobe ratted me out. That’s why I’m getting divorced. He said Shaq gave a ***** a mil. I don’t do that ’cause my name’s Shaquille. I love ‘em, I don’t leave ‘em. I got a vasectomy, now I can’t breed ‘em.”

Yes, genius stuff, there Shaq. You’ll be giving Mos and MF DOOM a run for their money in no time. What’s funny is after all that, Shaq had the audacity to say everything he rapped about Kobe should be taken in jest and that it didn’t mean anything. Well, for something so supposedly harmless, it sure was targeted and specific. Before I go on, here’s the infamous video:

And here’s O’Neal’s “apology:”

Reached by ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith on Monday, O’Neal issued the following statement: “I was freestyling. That’s all. It was all done in fun. Nothing serious whatsoever. That is what MC’s do. They freestyle when called upon. I’m totally cool with Kobe. No issue at all. And by the way, don’t forget, six albums, two platinum, two gold. Anybody who knows me knows I’m a funny freestyler. Check the NBA DVD when I was rapping about Vlade Divac during my first championship run. Please tell everybody don’t make something out of nothing.”

After reading his “Oh, damn. I shouldn’t have said that.” response, I’m struck by something — I wonder if Shaq ever asked Divac how his ass tasted.

I’ve been pretty hard on Kobe Bean around these parts, but in this case, it just sounds like Shaq’s stupidity is doing all the talking. If his little lyrical explosion was all in fun, why on earth would he bring up something personal like a divorce? Not only that, but the divorce segment also hints at Kobe’s stay in Colorado.

Again, that’s not something you’d make fun of if you were “totally cool with Kobe.”

As for all that “he can’t win it without me” crap, I have a question — how far did the Suns get this year? What about your first team, the Heat?

Of course, Shaq tries to get the final word and squash the potential beef he initiated by saying, “Please tell everybody don’t make something out of nothing.” Yeah, right. If your freestyle was really that harmless, you wouldn’t have felt the need to add that disclaimer at the end.

As for Kobe, I’m sure he’ll be laughing all the way to the gold medal stand. Or maybe he’ll respond in kind and this thing will get really, really good.

Tags: Bad Raps, Feuds, Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers, Phoenix Suns, Shaquille O'Neal

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