Is There A 5-Hour Energy Curse?
December 9th, 2008 at 11:35 amBy Chris
We’ve all seen the 5-hour Energy commercials with either Braylon Edwards or Osi Umenyiora appearing on your TV screen, singing the praises of the 5-Hour Energy Drink and how it helps them survive the rigors of the NFL by providing that needed boost.
Apparently, it’s not on the banned substance list, either — and considering the diuretic suspensions, that has to be considered a bonus. However, there’s a troubling trend related to the 5-Hour Energy drink that rivals Sports Illustrated and the Madden covers — the NFL players sponsoring 5-hour are, well, performing poorly — or, in Umenyiora’s case, not at all.
Now, the 5-Hour curse might just have skipped Osi, considering the timing of his knee injury and all, but one has to believe these two entities were in contact before his knee crumbled. As for Braylon Edwards, 5-Hour may make increase his mental acuity, but it certainly isn’t helping him catch the damn ball — 16 dropped passes? Really?
I’m not the only one who noticed this troubling trend either.
Which leads to a question: Is there too much caffeine in the product or is Edwards just not concentrating? For what it’s worth, 5-Hour Energy doesn’t disclose the exact amount of caffeine in their product, so we’ll just have to guess about how much Edwards is ingesting. Considering the effects of too much caffeine, namely the jitters, it gives credence to the possibility.
In all likelihood, Edwards’ drops come from lack of concentration, but isn’t mental acuity one of the things 5-Hour Energy is supposed to address? So either the drink is working too well (too much caffeine), or it’s not working well enough to focus Edwards’ concentration.
While perusing the Internets looking for anecdotes related to this post, I found some amusing forum threads discussing the same thing. The bottom line: fans aren’t impressed by Braylon’s endorsement. If he’d catch the ball with a little more frequency, this might change, but until then, thoughts like the following (sic’d up for your enjoyment) permeate:
maybe he’s on a speed trip, his eyes are jittery, and he can’t look the ball into his hands…honestly, i think you can stick a fork in edwards, he’s degenerated into nothing more than a head case…and Winslow is catching his disease…dropsies…maybe they should trade edwards to Detroit, even though Millen is gone, they may need another receiver, and, since he played at Michigan, maybe he’ll feel better about playing there than in ohio…maybe he’ll drop only half what he drops now…Detroit is a mess and he’d fit in perfect…
Watch out Madden and Sports Illustrated. There’s a new curse in town.
December 9th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Don’t forget about young Steve Wallace who has to live up to what his father did in NASCAR. The track record for father/sons of NASCAR isn’t going to well. Richard Petty the KING has a son named Kyle that isn’t worth three drop of oil.
Then you have the so beloved Dale Jr or as some call him Lil E. I personally call him way overrated. Dude isn’t half the man his father was but is treated like a NASCAR great. We were told once he left his father own company and got away from the evil stepmom. That he would go to the winner’s circle more often now that he is with Childress Racing. I mean how can you go wrong when teaming up with Jeff Gordon and Jimmy Johnson, right? I mean he only has seven championships in his blood line and surrounded by a total of seven championships as well. He finally got the monkey off his back and got one win out of two years of racing. Congrats Lil E on not living up to your potential.
I had to rant about that. That’s all you hear in the south. Now on to Braylon Edwards, I think the best thing for Cleveland to do is not throw him the ball. Hey you can’t drop any when they don’t come your way.
December 9th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Good call, Martha. I actually looked up Wallace’s stats and while not stellar (average finish was around 20th), he did have a few top-10 finishes and improved over the previous year.
The same is not true for Braylon, who seems to have holes in his hands now. The sad thing is, he gets open so well, you almost have no choice but to throw it his way.
It’s just too bad he’s turned into “Stone Hands” Featherstone from the movie Necessary Roughness…
December 9th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
I never seen it or heard of Necessary Roughness until now. So for me he would be like Clifford Franklin from the Replacements. Braylon couldn’t caught “Outbreak” if he was handling the monkey himself. Something I forgot to add early, Snoogans!
February 5th, 2009 at 12:42 am
I have gotten replies from both the makers of 5-Hour Energy and the makers of 6 Hour Power when I asked about the caffeine content. A full 2 oz serving (of either) supplies about 70-80 mg of caffeine. This is equivalent to a cup of weak coffee. I have seen some excellent results from using only half the bottle (1 oz) of either product. This could be a case where more is worse.
June 18th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
[...] them, German regulators are finding trace amounts of cocaine in them, and there may actually be a curse developing with one of the more highly publicized of the energy tonics — Five Hour [...]